A fic I wrote for nightingalesighed's birthday in 2018.

Title: battle cries.
Fandom: Shadowhunters.
Character/Pairing: Marisa Lightwood/Valentine Morgernstern.
Rating/Warnings: M, sexual content.
Summary: Her brother’s chosen sentence left Maryse scarred, bitter and ashamed. Valentine was a breath of fresh air.
Word count: 1.1k.

read more

-

After her brother’s Marks were removed, Maryse only got a short reprieve from the outside world, enclosed in her bedroom, before she had to return to the Academy.

Where everyone knew, and acted in consequence.

She took to sneaking out in the middle of the night, several hours before any of her peers, to left off steam in the training room, where no one could stare at her.

That’s how Valentine found her; on a stormy night, screaming with fury as she threw axes against the bullseye.

She never knew how long he’d been watching her, creeping from the shadows. He made his presence known with a do you want a real fight, Trueblood?.

Maryse, startled, threw an ax in his direction that he dodged without much effort. He tore it from the wall, a challenging expression, and waited for Maryse to pick her twin from the target.

That was her first yes to Valentine. Many more followed.

---

If she had talked to Valentine before that night, she couldn’t remember it. And she had a hard time imagining someone could forget anything about him.

She, of course, knew who he was. And not just because of his own accomplishments, but because he was Lucian’s parabatai. Lucian and Maryse weren’t exactly friends; he was a grade above her, but he’d been one of the very few people that didn’t shun her after what happened to her brother. It wasn’t until Valentine asked her to sit with their selective clique that they truly became close.

But even then, no one —not Lucian, not Jocelyn, not her parents— no one else seemed to understand her as well as Valentine did.

No one else saw, not as clearly as he did, everything that was boiling inside her brain. Her shame, her heartbreak, her fury. Shame, for how Max had chosen a vapid mundane over his sacred duty. Heartbreak, for how much she missed him.

Fury, against the Clave.

Except for her nights with Valentine, Maryse hid all those emotions under a blank face. She couldn’t put her inner turmoil into words.

But she didn’t need to, because Valentine did. When he talked about what a waste it was, to force Shadowhunters to leave if they paired with mundanes. Those are potential recruits, he said. And if they're not, their children will be. With how numerous demons are getting, we need all the manpower we can get. When he talked about their heaven-given mission to protect the world. When he put her against the floor with his sword on her throat.

It was as if he spoke from her heart.

---

Maryse’s anger never faded, but it learned. It grew colder, more solid, forged steady like a sword’s blade.

The private training sessions continued, as her outlet to let out every ugly emotion breeding inside her. When a classmate made a dismissive comment, or when her father, meek as ever, bowed to the Clave. When her mother reiterated in her letters that their family legacy was on her shoulders now. On her, as if her parents no longer bore any responsibility for it.

And when Valentine’s family was slaughtered, she was more than willing to return the favor. To be the target of his frustrations, of his grief and his rage. When he broke a bo-staff against her ribs, she hit him in the jaw with hers, immobilized him by sitting in his chest, and asked is that all you got, Morgenstern?

That got what she knew for a fact was his first laugh after the attack. She’d felt it sometimes, that perverse little feeling in her chest, when she noticed how he shared things with her that she didn’t with Jocelyn or even Lucian. How he sometimes got distant with them, but never with her. She laughed back, as that feeling grew again.

---

Her marriage with Robert Lightwood was, above all, convenient. His family was a beacon among the Shadow world, practically royalty. Her mother, for once, was proud; proud enough to get her off her back and leaving her some leeway to do what she wanted.

What he lacked in conviction, he made it up with imitation. They got along well. And if she sometimes couldn’t help but feel a little condescending, well. She kept it to herself, and swallowed the amusement when Valentine didn’t bother to do it himself.

When the Circle solidified, from idea to fact, Valentine marked them together. He did Robert’s first, light like an afterthought, and then he turned to her. He grabbed her by the chin, gentle and firm, and drew it slowly, maintaining eye contact. After he finished it, he smiled with mirth, his hands lingering on her shoulders, and calling her by her maiden name, told her you and I are going to change this world.

---

After the Academy, after betrayals and disappointments, they kept up with their ritual. It happened if they got tired of the strategy meetings —often already private between the two them—, if Valentine’s anger got the best of him, if she got tired of being treated like a porcelain doll because she was less than one month pregnant.

It was fitting, that it was during those sessions, when it finally happened.

Maryse had him against the floor, holding him down with her hands and with her body, their weapons discarded meters away. She saw from up close how the anger in his eyes shifted to something else, as it’d done many times before; this time, she felt emboldened enough to descend over him and join their mouths on a wet, languid first kiss.

He engulfed her in his harms, surrounding her waist, and brought their bodies so close together that Maryse felt as if she was swallowed by him. Without hurry, he leveraged their position to put her on her back, and slowly followed a trail of open-mouthed kisses down her body. Her jaw, right below her ear; the base of her neck, her breasts, her hips. He uncovered her, one piece of clothing after another, still fully dressed. Maryse released a sound of relief when he finally dived between her legs, that turned into needy, breathy moans at his feather-like touches. When she came, she left scratch marks on his shoulders.

The next part was hurried, as she took off his shirt and pulled down his pants, sitting on his lap. She rode him while the sun started to rise, its faint glow illuminating the dark blue mats on the floor, as Valentine kissed her intermittently, a litany of MaryseMaryseMaryse on his lips.

When they finished, their breaths sounded heavier than they’ve ever been after a good fight. Valentine rested his forehead against hers, his hands now light on her hips after the bruises they’ve surely left from how tight they’ve held her half a minute before.

A husky laugh came from deep down her throat, when she saw her lack of regret echoed in his eyes.

some new stuff:

Love&Deepspace - I got the new five-star Xavier card (HOT!!), and now have played different parts of the game more, i'm still in the beginning stages of the main story and i don't want to rush it because it's so interesting. I've read a bit about the lore but now i wanna get more into it. I also wanna read more sci-fi romance now! 

The Testaments - American tv-series adaptation of Margaret Atwood's spinoff of The Handmaiden. The main role is played by the lovely Chase Infiniti<3 I've only watched a few episodes so far but they're so well made i don't feel like i need to binge watch. It's been a while since i've watched "quality tv" so i'm savoring it. 

The Drama (2026) - Ofc i had to watch the new Zendaya film. I knew nothing about it beforehand other than there's a wedding in the film and some mysterious drama. I'm not gonna spoil it but it's about a sensitive topic but it doesn't go that deep into it unfortunately(avoiding controversy?). It was interesting but not life changing. Zendaya and Robert Pattison were great in it though. There was one scene in the film I could relate to, something similar happened to me at a party too last weekend which i think was a funny coincidence, i might write about it more later.  

Music
Kehlani - Kehlani
Slayyter - WOR$T GIRL IN AMERICA
JT - Numb/Girls Gone Wild
FLO - Therapy At The Club

Food Diary (new food)
Ghanaian food: Red Red (+jollof rice)
Pop Up Kissaten - Melon Soda and Matcha Cheesecake
Japanese souffle pancake
Thai Festival: Sticky Rice with Taro and Lychee Juice
Marry Me Chicken (pasta)
New drinks: raspberry liqorice long drink and elderflower long drink (yummy!)
Tzatziki Chips <33


+Stuff I'm waiting for in the future:

Beyonce's new album, maybe rock? or Prince vibes (more excited about this than Cowboy Carter)

The Vampire Lestat - Interview With The Vampire Season 3 NEXT MONTH!

RIPE! - lesbian sport rom-com with Lola Tung<33! (sapphic heated rivalry YESS)

Painter of The Night live action BL - vertical drama on Lezhin Snack, out this month

LE SSERAFIM - PUREFLOW out next week!! I loved Celebration and Boompala teaser sounds so fun!

EVAN SOLO!!! just announced that a new single is out in the beginning of June!


+ PinkPantheress released a new music video:

I rarely vote for stuff but Enhypen and Le sserafim were nominated for AMAs so i also voted for PinkPantheress each time (she was nominated in 3 categories) she deserves to win!! Her album Fancy That was released year ago but it is still very much alive(idk how to say it better, sorry my English isn't working). I have the CD and I'm gonna get the LP for the remix album soon. Unfortunately she cancelled her concert at my country at this one music festival but i really hope she comes here for her own concert in the future. 

myrtillenne is one of my favourite Dreamwidth layout creators so I'm surprised at myself for finding out they made a new layout months after the fact. Nevertheless, I've changed my layout now, and changed my default icon to match the yellow accents. 😁

My grandparents have left for a short duration, and my aunt and uncle continue to stay here. I didn't post for 3w4dw the past few days (and now there's just a few days left). All my energy went towards trying to protect my energy, and now it feels as if a whirlwind has come and gone.

I changed my avatar on Kingdom of Knuffel and submitted it to this month's avatar contest.



I like how the snowballike/bubbly dress blends into the snowballike/bubbly hair. They're actually items from two different sets! It's the Doughnight '23 dress and the Drama Llama hair. The poofy little pet is from a different set too, it's the Skypuff Pet. The spell shapes in the background make it look like the pet was summoned. I built this avatar around this pet!

Speaking of pets, there are now a new set of pets you can get for your avatar and they're SO CUTE!



And you don't need in-game currency to get them, either! You can dig with your Knuffel (the site's adoptables) on Candy Island to find them.

Firstly, we won our game on Sunday, a 1-0 win. Which was nice. Full game again, although we had a woman from the next grade up who could sub us when necessary, but about half of us just stayed on for the full game in the end.

I am thinking I may need to start working at being a centre half - attacking-AND-defending midfielder. There's only one woman who can presently play CH and Team 1 is using her too (out of 4 players who were solid centre halves for our two teams, we've lost two of them this year, and we had 5 the year before).

I prefer striker, tbh. I'm a pretty good forward, especially on a team where we have a solid defensive half line, and at least one person who's a good "finisher" (ie. scores goals). But there's nobody else who could learn the position, and I may not be particularly stand-out, but I can run back and forth and offer options.

--

A couple of years ago, Mothers' Day stung. I'm still not sure why; I didn't want children and all that. I still don't. But this year, I felt...almost jaunty about the day.

( better connections with the kids in my family? )

A pretty good weekend.

Prof. Walsh: Next class we'll be moving on to personality types and disorders. For those of you who have done the reading you already know (she sees Buffy's hand up) yes?
Buffy: She read the reading.
Prof. Walsh: well, she'll have some time on her hands. As I was saying. We won't be able to cover it all in the class but that doesn't mean it isn't work knowing and it doesn't mean it won't be on the mid-term. Now, if I've been unclear in any way. Speak now.

~~S4E5: "Beer Bad"~~

---

The Sunnydale Herald is looking for a new editor. Contributing to the Herald is a great way to get your Buffy on! Find out more.

---

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

• 
• The Third Waltz (Buffy/Giles, M) by Nixiet
• worse girls (Buffy/Faith, M) by N1_Adora_Fan
• Curses and Promises (Angel/Spike, T) by Leata
• Fortitude (Faith/Buffy, T) by jadedxwritings

[Chaptered Fiction]

• 
• A Stake In The Family, Chapter 27 (Buffy/Spike, M) by voidslayerworks98
• Stake Me Baby One More Time, Chapter 12 (Buffy/Faith, M) by Moonlit_Illusion
• Undisclosed Desires, Chapter 9 (Spike/Buffy, E) by mistigrisunshine
• Double Life Dark Heart, Chapter 7 (Buffy/Giles, M) by Jazer94
• Infoboner, Chapter 6 (Spike/Andrew, E) by Laqt15
• Playing With Fire, Chapter 19 (Spike/Buffy, M) by stellugh
• Boston Doll, Chapter 9 (Buffy/Faith, M, Dollhouse xover) by
• The Gift, Chapter 1 (Xander, G) by Isobel_Sharp
• Ashes to Amber, Chapter 10 (Buffy/Jacob Black, unrated, Twilight xover) by Aya1600
• Put Me Down, Chapter 60 (Buffy/Faith, E) by Inspectorrr
• Amber the Vampire Slayer, Chapter 27 (OC, M) by Red Cowling she they (Redtheseer)
• You Make Slaying Fun, Chapter 37 (Spike/Buffy, E) by cosplayermadness
• The Red Slayer:, Chapter 135 (Many ships, E) by VladimirHarkonnen (TheLightdancer)
• Spike Becomes Hogwarts’ Problem, Chapter 1 (Spike, unrated, Harry Potter xover) by faewm
• 
• ‘Til Death?, Chapter 3-4 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Maulikiller
• Undisclosed Desires, Chapter 9 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Misti
• Playing With Fire, Chapter 19 (Buffy/Spike, G) by stellugh
• The English Professor, Chapter 8 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by the_big_bad
• 
• Rewoven, Chapter 20 (Buffy/Spike, R) by EnchantedWillow
• Da Capo al Fine, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, R) by EnchantedWillow
• Knock Me off My Feet, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by VeroNyxK84
• Lost and found, Chapter 31 (Buffy/Spike, R) by JSBirsa

[Images, Audio & Video]

• 
• Artwork: holy water play (Spike/Dru, somewhat NSFW) by mmhhch
• Gifset: BEST OF BTVS: Buffy & Giles — Season Six (Buffy & Giles, SFW) by clarkgriffon
• Artwork: Gym Crush (Buffy/Spike, probably NSFW) by scxrlet64
• Artwork: [Spike art] (Spike, SFW) by linh-imp-2
• Moodboard: Buffy (Buffy, SFW) by beautiful--tragedy
• Gifset: "I am not your girl!" Buffy the Vampire Slayer — 6x13 “Dead Things” (Buffy/Spike, some violence) by buffygifs

[Recs & In Search Of]

• 
• Curses and Promises by Leata recced by spangel-fanwork-marathon
• 
• Buffy - What If...The Scoobies Met Puppet Angel!? recced by LegendsOfAwesome28

[Fandom Discussions]

• 
• the other thing that delights me about "storyteller" by lesbianmarrow
• Warren has self awareness about being a bad person but by mishafer
• when ppl are like well it’s good that faith put herself in prison by lesbianmarrow
• have i talked about andrew btvs at all on here? by lesbianmarrow
• The concept of a child being so pure evil and horrid by heromike
• i think giles should have been actually killed off towards the end of s5. by xaeyrnofnbe
• 1. I adore your comments as you've been rewatching — keep up the great work! answered by buffygifs
• 
• What do you think is your most rewatched episode? by TutorComprehensive28
• Willow and Oz by ceecee1909
• Angel consistently practicing what he learned at the school of Buffy Summers by Strong-Frame87
• If you had to make one single amendment to every season? by Weekly-Status4804

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⌈ Secret Post #7065 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.



( More! )

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 45 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1009.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

This is your check-in post for today. The poll will be open from midnight Universal or Zulu Time (8pm Eastern Time) on Sunday, May 10, to midnight on May 11 (8pm Eastern Time).



Please, talk about how things are going for you in the comments, ask for advice or help if you need it, or just discuss whatever you feel like.

You know how it is, when you start with a vague idea and a summary and then you write 4K in a day and you have written yourself out of that summary being suitable? Yeah. That.

The summary it should have fitted itself to: "Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your feckless cousin closest of all." Wherein there would be porn and Gregor deciding that Ivan couldn't actually be mediocre and/or learned that trying to do well just got him unwanted attention. No, Ivan must be faking it on purpose.

Unfortunately then I dropped too heavily into Gregor's depression, so, uh, if this gets to the porn, it's going to take some doing. Also I have to do some serious tense editings because I started it in past tense but of course ever since I made the mistake of ever writoing in present tense, I must needs deal with tense shifting problems forevermore.

Point of diversion is that Gregor assigns Ivan to Residence Security right out of the Academy to keep an eye on him, and kicks Miles out after the mutiny.

Why couldn't Miles have ever learned to fake obedience as well as Ivan had? Ivan's flawless at his disguise. Why must Miles be so frustrating? Gregor feels even more hollow than usual as Aral nods his acknowledgment and mumbles a perfunctory, "your will, my liege."

It's the first time Gregor's tried exercising Imperial muscles in years and it's still all because Miles Vorkosigan is uncontrollable.

Gregor can't meet his gaze in the mirror as his armsman shaves him that night, and he accepts the sleeping pill with resignation.

A few weeks ago I was stepping out of an open house for an apartment building that I had no intention of ever actually trying to live in and it occured to me that my habit of ducking into any open house that I came across to explore could almost be called something of a hobby. I don't really do it too deliberately and I don't formalize or structure this habit any, and even though I usually take the available literature with the intention of saving it I lose it instead. But if anyone asked me if I had any odd hobbies, checking out open houses and apartments and buildings would probably be my go-to pick.

While I was ruminating on this I wondered what other sort of hobbies that people wouldn't really think of as a hobby usually might be out there. Stuff that you don't really do with enough deliberation, or is almost on the edge of just being an odd habit, or doesn't really result in anything but is fun to do anyway.

It'd be fun to hear what other people might be doing. So what sort of hobbies that you might not usually think of as a hobby would you say you had? I've been trying to think of something else I do that might qualify and it's hard to come up with something else, because most of what I do for leisure is either kind of firmly established as a hobby, with clubs and stuff, or falls into the category of "collecting" which covers a lot of ground.

highadrenalineexchange (HA) author reveals happened, and I can finally talk about this! *deep breath*

I wrote a whole sci-fi novella! And I had so much fun with this, and I'm really proud of the result. :D

The requested relationship was "Young King Warring With Rival/Famed Older Knight Who Was Betrayed By Rival", and my recipient was open to a variety of different genres and settings. But they said "space opera" in their request, and I went, "YES, THAT, I'M DOING THAT," and then spent the next week or so in a haze of worldbuilding and note-taking and snippet-writing.

HA has a very short creation period - only two weeks for a 10k story - so after that I pulled together a first complete draft. But I couldn't stop writing more, and worldbuilding more. Happily, there were several delays, so I was able to extend the story to double the word count, which IMO also improved it considerably. *g*

One of the most fun things about worldbuilding, for me, is hinting at all the things that aren't on screen, to make it look like a proper lived-in world - and to show how the world they live in shapes and impacts the characters, beyond the immediate plot. And I had SUCH a blast with all of that here! I'm definitely going to talk more about this in another post, but for now, here is the story - if it sounds at all like your kind of thing, I'd really love it if you gave it a chance:

**

Title: Zhentari's Choice
Rating: Explicit
Word count: 21,458
Relationship: Young King Warring With Rival/Famed Older Knight Who Was Betrayed By Rival
Characters: Younger King, Older Knight, Rival Would-be King
Content Tags: Science Fiction, Space Opera, Space Royalty, Space Politics, Political Manoeuvring, Betrayed to the Enemy, Code of Ethics, Sci-Fi Philosophies, Age Difference, Enemies to Lovers, Loyalty Issues, Power Dynamics, Consensual Sex, Refractory Period Manipulation, Multiple Orgasms
A/N: Many thanks to china_shop for beta-reading!

Summary:

"Do what is necessary. Only the gods know what is truly necessary, but you must choose.
Do what suits the purpose. You have not the hindsight of the gods, but you must choose.
Do what is appropriate. You have not the measuring-stick of the gods, but you must choose.
Do what you must, Zhentari, and know your choice."

(The "Three Choices", according to the Zhentar Code)

Jolim Niall, famous Zhentar Knight (or infamous, depending on your position), has been in service to Tevin Appen of Trella for most of his life. When he falls into the hands of the King of Tarn, he's not sure which is worse: what Ayrom Gaudren no doubt has in store for him - or that it's Appen's betrayal that landed him there.

But Gaudren's plans aren't what he expects - and Jolim Niall must make a choice ...

Kill Your Darlings by Lou Wilham was awesome! It's Book 3 of Hunters of Ironport, an achillean story inspired by Buffy/Faith.

This is my favourite series in the Bay of the Dead Verse. This tome has a major crossover with Witches of Moondale, a minor one with Fae of Eventide, and introduces Bat who, as I guessed, will be the protagonist of History Will Call Them Tombmates. Here's the full Reading Order.

There's major m/m/m, where one of them is a trans man, and minor f/f.

+ 🗣️ New Aldous Harding album. I repeat: new Aldous Harding album.

+ Retreated to my bedroom for a quiet space to finally get a post out. Brough my holiday incense leftovers and now everything smells amazing. There's just nothing else that smells this good to me.

+ Finally did one voluntary social call since coming home. Met my good friend K, the one I didn't get around to last free trip. It's always such a lovely time. Miracles of miracles, it was actually sunny and warm that day. (we've had two full days with white on the ground. This morning greeted me with a hail storm. ~MAY~)

We may be meeting up next week so I can finally see her new house. There's a bunch of springy lambs visible from her window!

+ Friend J got a new Guinea pig and is sending me all sorts of cute pictures and videos 🥰

+ Redid the pin badge banner on my bedroom door, for more springy vibes. ( Wish I had more floral pins, but I feel nicely covered when it comes to work and life vibes. )

+ The online store with the biggest selection of tarot decks and books announced they were shutting down, so whups there goes another shopping spree. I really did want to put a whole lot more time into my new decks first, but that's how it goes. I'll finally have my hands on the supremely queer and joyful Supernova Tarot though!! Absolute delight in a box, cannot wait.As well as Kate Forsyth's Plant Oracle. I'm just really craving florals and animals lately. But mostly it was new books, including a year long work book. So that'll be interesting to tackle. Structure would do me good.

+ I've officially sent in my resignation at work. Wish I could roll around in relief, but of course all I'm feeling is overwhelmed and stressed about having to find something new. Still better than the toxic soup I was drowning in.

Turned to my tarot for a small soothing work reading.



Ah yes, 8 of Swords, my second in line stalker card. Confronting inner barriers, awareness of self-limiting beliefs, a shift of perspective for potential liberation. And Death, the end of one phase and the beginning of another. Embracing inevitable changes. As the foundation I pulled The Hierophant: spiritual wisdom, tradition, embodying guidance and mentorship.

The next couple of days I did three one card pulls, and well, let's just say [it's the same picture dot jpeg].



small
a seed already has the energy to begin
and then takes time in the dark underground,
supported and nourished by the soil, the matrix.
to have a foundation, to root.

•

Peppermint can dispel the mental chatter that prevents us from being present. They can allow our minds to be cool and clear. Peppermint offers perspective on how we see ourselves and how we engage with the world, showing us a way through the many layers of selves around which we build stories.

Peppermint is an excellent ally for transition.

•

No amount of clarity or visualization is possible without distancing oneself from the noise of the world. It can be challenging to take ourselves out of the flood of distractions we deal with minute by minute.

Seek out a place of stillness to hear what you need; time to meditate.

All in all a clear message. To honor it, after I'm done here I'll be brewing myself a cup of peppermint tea and tidying a bit, followed by a bath using a small Aromatgerapy Associates bottle I know contains peppermint. Then hop in bed with the window open to feel the breeze and do a body scan meditation (extremely likely to be followed by a nap heh). Bonus, this matches up perfectly with the exercise for my current Embodied Ecosystems Tarot task.

+ Now, you'd think I was done playing with my cards? lol nope. I just recently received The Intuitive Goddess Tarot, and decided to do their seven card chakra spread. ( Sparing you all my card blather. )

+ We're still open for offerings and requests at 3W4DW Tarot Reading, for anybody who's been thinking about joining in.

+ If you've ever wanted to give paid time a try on Dreamwidth, or would just like to top up your account, please do put your name in the hat. Multiple donors have signed on, we'd just like you to get something nice while supporting Dreamwidth ❤️

+ Tonight I'll play some more with the Star Wars Icon Pass It On. Stop by and drop some images for us to play with and make some shiny icons ✨

(Look away now if you watched it and remain a fan, because I have barred no holds.)

REBIRTH

The Chinese costume drama every fan had been awaiting for years. The sequel to Princess Agents. Woohoo! (Woo-oh dear!)

What a mess. Even had I not been coming to this series straight after finishing the relative masterpiece that was Pursuit of Jade, I believe I would have been disappointed with this one.

Rebirth seems to be a series of two halves. I believe only one person is credited with the script but, to me, it felt more assembled by a committee. Episodes one to twenty focussed on relationships. Episodes twenty-one to thirty-nine focussed more on political events. (Episode forty was just odd.) Frankly, I found the second half confusing. But I always find the Chinese drama political stories confusing so, to be fair, I can't lay all blame on the series. I soon lost track of how many warring factions we had, who was in charge of each, and why they were fighting. That we also had factions within each warring faction just left me reeling.

Initially, I think the most frustrating thing for me was the acting. Some actors were hamming it up way too much. The Empress and her Eunuch (Was he actually a Eunuch?) were so intense they were in danger of combusting, and not in a good way. Others were the opposite. Our female lead, Huangyang Tian Tian, was way too inexperienced for such an important role. She had the emotional range of a sloth. (There. I said it. Shoot me.) She is still very young, so there's plenty of time for her to improve, but this was not the project for her. The male lead, Li Yun Rui, is usually a reasonable actor. I have enjoyed other stuff he has done. Here, for some reason, he seemed to have forgotten every acting lesson or previous experience he ever had. Although his character was supposed to play emotions very close to his chest, I would have appreciated some expressions, however micro, to give me a clue about what was going on in his mind. As for chemistry between the lead couple...maybe it was an age difference thing, but I saw zero sparks. It would have been more believable if the script writer(s) treated it as a teacher, student relationship, rather than a romance. I am usually OK with any kind of relationship, but this supposed romance felt uncomfortable.

I'm willing to put some of the blame for the actor's non or over acting down to a poor director and the disaster of a script. The first half of the series featured a larger than average assortment of characters, most of whom were deranged (more so, than even for most Chinese costume drama) to one degree or another. The series in general offered enough such aberrant behaviour that it could keep a therapist in work for a lifetime. By the time we reached episode twenty most of them were mercifully dead, by their own hand or someone else's, which could have resulted in a reduction of income for our therapist, were it not for the fact that those characters were then replaced by a whole new set, ready and willing to be wiped out by episode thirty-nine. By the final episode our therapist would probably have needed a therapist, and there wasn't a graveyard big enough for the corpses.

No major spoilers. The story revolves around a female lead, being chased by every available male she meets. Some women work hard on their 'Siren' status, but she attracted an unreasonable amount of attention, for someone who was not working at it. In the first half of the series she spends much of the plot being kidnapped and rescued, one by one, by said bevy of admittedly very handsome men. When she finally settles on our male lead, the two of them spend the rest of the series riding off in opposite directions, and only coming back together briefly...albeit over, and over, and over again.

The male lead, when he isn't rescuing the female lead (incidentally, said female is supposed to be an army general), spends most of that same period either unconscious, spitting blood, or collapsing. Don't get me wrong. I love me some handsome male lead suffering, but this produced very little in the way of female lead comforting. In my book, there should be no pain without payoff. Once he finished with that trope he spent the last twenty episodes riding around, disappearing, for no logical reason, then swooping back in on a white charger, (a la Dream Within A Dream) at the last minute, to save the female lead (again). As for the final episode...why? Just...why?

Credit where it is due. The camera person resisted the temptation to soft filter every single face. We saw pores. We saw scars. We saw bleeding lipstick. But they at least did not look like anime or AI characters. The lighting person, however, seemed to over expose many outdoor shots. (Maybe they were trying to do something artsy?) So the result was almost the same in some scenes. I've seen better lighting in Instagram shorts, filmed on a hand held phone.

I will also give credit to the costume department. The characters who needed to look grand, did so without resorting to tinsel thread, miles of nylon georgette, and/or buckets of fake pearls. Yes, there were silks and brocades, but also wools and linens. The costumes worked. Also, hair ornaments were held to a minimum, or at least what passes for 'minimum' in a Chinese costume drama.

By the time I was less than half way through I was already gritting my teeth at the music. I don't have a good enough ear to be able to tell for certain, but I suspect all that swelling orchestral incidental music was synthesised. I hope it was. I hate to think of some poor orchestra having to play such banality. Once written/recorded it was used at every available opportunity. Every time we had a lovers clinch, it was accompanied by an orchestral crescendo. Every time we had a battle they played the same orchestral crescendo. Sick? Crescendo. Declaration to abolish slavery? Crescendo. Reciting your general political agenda? Crescendo. Rescue...crescendo. Death...crescendo. By episode ten I was all crescendoed out, with thirty episodes still to go.

So. What was my main takeaway from this series?

Just...Why?

Why? Because the first series left us with a cliff hanger. Why? Because the studio saw dollar signs. Why was it so bad, when it had so much money lavished on it? I suspect most of the budget disappeared into back pockets before it reached any set. Why did I watch it to the bitter end?

Here's my answer the last 'why'. It was rather like watching a train wreck, where you know it's a disaster but you just can't tear your eyes away. The first two or three episodes showed enough promise to reel me in. The next few episodes had me hoping that its general downturn would reverse within a couple more. After that it became a battle of wills. I had already started to compose a rant but thought it unreasonable to do so without wading through to the bitter end. After all, I have known series that did a slow build and managed to sneak up and hook me in with later episodes. The rest of the episodes in this series, however, only cemented my initial appraisal.

Now, if you're like me, a review like this will only make you more likely to try the series. If you do that, and disagree with me, I've no problem with that. I've been known to like some series that would make others click away within ten minutes. My personal advice, however, is...If you are sitting on the fence about watching Rebirth, jump off and run, as far as you can...in the opposite direction.

Sorry, but there was just no way to sugar coat this review.

The current round at retro_icontest is about color palettes. You provide some of your old icons and palettes are generated from two of them. You then have to work with those palettes.

Teasers:


( 18+1 icons, mostly Wu-Lei related, and some other cdramas (and one Zootopia icon) )

Every single comment is treasured. All icons shareable! Concrit welcome. Check out my resource post for makers of textures and brushes I use.

Previous icon posts:

* The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when i was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone. He said, “Fine, suit yourself.”
* Why did the egg have a day off? Because it was Fryday.
* Have you ever heard about the kidnapping at school? It's okay, he woke up.
* Why did the coffee taste like dirt? Because it was ground just a few minutes ago.
* Why do quarterbacks tell obvious jokes? So they don't go over their receivers' heads.
* What is the best present? Broken drums! You can't beat them.
* Why do people who live in Greece hate waking up at dawn? Because Dawn is tough on Greece.

56. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
57. “Old age comes at a bad time.” – San Banducci
58. “You don’t get old. You get better.” – Shirley Bassey
59. “Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.” – Helen Hayes
60. “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” – Walt Disney
“Having one child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.” – David Frost

59. Identify the biggest distractions in your life and ways you can reduce or eliminate them.

My biggest distractions are medical problems. I just need to face it all and move on. And hopefully, I can eliminate the problems.

Do you binge read, take your sweet time, or somewhere in between?

I love all three. It depends on my mood.

9. In 1896, the first horseless carriage show in London featured ten models. Do you own a car? What kind of car is it?

Yes, we own a car. It's a Hyundai Santa Fe SUV. It's 4 years old.


10. Are there some colours you would never wear or use in your home?


Orange. I love the color but it washes me out.