After finally procuring a copy of John Green's Looking for Alaska, I sank my happy teeth into it last night. And when I say my teeth are happy, I really, really mean it. They are so happy that I have to post this very important list that describes:

How Much I Hated John Green in the First 10 Pages of Looking for Alaska

1. . . . and 3. I never really excelled at small talk. My mom, however, can talk small for hours. . . .

2. The only thing worse than having a party that no one attends is having a party attended only by two vastly, deeply uninteresting people.

3. Florida was plenty hot, certainly, and humid, too. Hot enough that your clothes stuck to you like Scotch tape, and sweat dripped like tears from your forehead into your eyes.

4. I'd never been born again with the baptism and weeping and all that, but it couldn't feel much better than being born again as a guy with no known past.

5. . . .

Okay, so I got distracted while writing this list because I'm really enjoying the book. Suffice it to say, the prose is wonderful and it sucks like awesome. All Nerdfighters should make it a point to read it.